Blank Pages

I'm sitting here at my desk in the basement, which is the coolest place in the house.  I'm staring at the blank squares in my nifty new teacher's planner. And I'm panicking slightly. Why? Because I love new beginnings. Love blank spaces, squares or days and enjoy filling them, organizing and planning what we'll do.  Except today, I don't.  It's the second day of school and this my friends, does not bode well.  I admit it. I'm worried.

Is it the caffeine? I had two cups of coffee this morning, can I possibly blame this on that?  No? *sigh* Okay. 

I've ranted and raved, and something must've worked because my two older girls are quietly doing the reading they are supposed to do.  The youngest is playing with toys like it's the privledge it is to have them, instead of whining about nothing to do.  We've done Math, Spelling, Reading, and they are doing their History Reading.  Little one has done Explode the Code, Handwriting and Math.  It's been as successful day so far in that aspect.  Yesterday we hit History, Thurs. we will do Science some more. 

I like what we have!  I feel so unequipped to plan this year though.  My perfectionism is defeating me!  I'm warring inside reminding myself that just doing something is better than nothing because it's not perfect.  And that I can't know what will work until I try some things and find out what won't.  I know this.  I've  been there, done this, wore out the t-shirt. 

What is holding me back?  Laziness? Maybe somewhat.  Reluctance to let go of the summer.  Oh yeah, for sure.  I've enjoyed the last few laid back weeks.  The sleeping in, and reading whatever, chatting with friends online.  It's been nice!  But I know it's time to get back to it.  It's time.  Public schools start next week.  We are taking a week and a bit off at the end of September.  It's time. 

I feel so unprepared.  I've been planning all summer, working on getting photocopies made, cleaning, organizing etc. but last week was crazy with work at The Home Depot and in the evenings I did have off instead of working on homeschooling stuff I just relaxed.  Now I'm paying for not spending time a little more wisely.  I will get it together.  Slowly but surely we will pull it together and be just fine.  This is one of those things I need to grow through. 

Day 2 of 180 some days is almost done.  So is the laudry.  Life goes on, bring on Day 3.